The Mutants Who Came to Dinner
by Red Witch
Summary: Xavier decides to invite the Brotherhood over for dinner to talk peace. Big Mistake.


****

The disclaimer telling all you good people that I don't own X-Men Evolution characters has been blown up again. I think one of the New Mutants did it. Anyway I got this weird idea after I finished "Brotherhood Winter" and read a New Year's Eve story by CrazyAce. This takes place right after the snowball ambush at the X-Mansion. 

**The Mutants Who Came to Dinner**

"This has gone on long enough!" Professor Xavier sighed. He looked at the entire X-Men team, most of which was dripping wet and covered in snow. 

"They started it," Evan mumbled.

"For the thousandth time that is not the point," Xavier rubbed his temples, getting another headache. "The goal of this school is to learn control over your mutant abilities. By control I mean that you all don't start zapping everyone who ticks you off whenever you feel like it!"

"Well somebody should tell that to the Brotherhood," Rogue spat.

"Who? Magneto? Mystique?" Xavier asked. "They abandoned them. Without a leader they have no one to guide them or care for them. They have had no real training of their powers. You all have had that and you still are acting as irresponsible as they are! I'm not making excuses for the Brotherhood, but I simply expected more from you. In fact, from what I've been witnessing lately it seems that you're the ones who are starting the fights in the first place. We are X-Men. We are supposed to work hard not only to bring understanding between humans and mutants, but to help mutants as well. The Brotherhood granted are not exactly the most…disciplined group of mutants but they are still mutants. We shouldn't be divided. Mutants will have enough challenges in the days to come without fighting each other. That is why I have decided to try to offer a truce to the Brotherhood."

"You're kidding," Scott's face fell. 

"No I'm not," Xavier said. "Most of you seem to have forgotten what we X-Men stand for." 

Jean made a self righteous smirk. "With the exception of Kitty," Xavier said. Her face fell flat. 

"Chuck thinks that if the half pint talks to them they might listen to reason," Logan shrugged. 

"The only one who will listen is that lovesick Lance Alvers!" Scott snapped. "And he's an idiot!" 

"Listen," Professor Xavier said. "Magneto may attempt to contact the Brotherhood again. If he does that any hope of having them join us will be gone. And then the situation may get really dangerous. We have to at least try to offer peace." 

"Don't worry Scott," Kitty reassured him. "I'll be okay. Lance would never really hurt me now and the rest of the Brotherhood won't do anything. I think."

"One of us should at least go with her!" Kurt spoke up.

"Oh yeah that'll work," Logan drawled. 

"That may not be such a bad idea," Xavier said. "But I don't think any of the older students should go. There's too much …um…previous contact with them. I was thinking one of the younger students. Multiple…" He turned to the young boy. "I think you would be the perfect escort."

"You're joking!" "Are you out of your head Chuck?" "What?" "That's it, the professor's gone nuts!" "I don't believe this!" "That kid?" "The pipsqueak?" "Who's going to protect who?" "Oh man!" Several voices said at the same time.

"No offense Professor but him…?" Kurt said quizzically.

"Hey I can do this!" Jamie spoke up. "I'll be a great escort! Besides if any of them do give us any trouble…" He created several copies of himself. "We'll outnumber them!" 

"Well that's part of the reason," Xavier looked amused. "But also because Jamie has the least amount of prejudice towards them. Besides, Jamie and Tabitha got along well when she was here if I recall."

"Yeah she was real nice to me," Jamie nodded enthusiastically. 

"There that's settled," Xavier smiled. "Tomorrow the two of you will go to the Brotherhood house and talk to them. Then you can invite them for dinner that night."

"Oh this has got disaster written all over it," Scott groaned to himself. 

"Hey have a little faith Scott," Kitty said. "I mean how bad could it get?"

The next morning Kitty and Jamie walked up the street. "Well there it is," Kitty pointed. "The Brotherhood House. Now remember to watch yourself Jamie, these guys can be tricky. And don't tell them about Magneto!"

"Okay, I know already," Jamie rolled his eyes. "I'm not stupid you know. You only told me this like a gazillion times! I'm supposed to be watching out for you!"

"Right," Kitty rolled her eyes in an amused way. "Just be careful okay? Well at least they should be in a relatively good mood. They must have calmed down from the attack on the Institute by now."

Inside the Brotherhood house…

"We beat the X-Geeks!" Lance sang as he danced at the head of the conga line. After him were Tabitha, then Pietro, Then Todd and Fred at the rear. They were also wearing war paint and feathers in their hair.

"We beat the X-Geeks!" They all sang as they did the conga all through the house. "One two three Conga, Hey! One two three We beat 'em! Hey! One two three we beat em! Hey! One two three we beat em!"

"Who's bad! Who's rad? Don't get mad!" Tabitha whooped. "We're glad that we beat the Geeks! Yeah we beat the X-Geeks!" 

"Yeah!" Fred did a cabbage patch dance. "We bad! We bad!"

"Go Freddy! Go Freddy! Go Freddy!" They all chanted. 

"Gentlemen," Lance jumped up on the coffee table. "And Lady! A Toast!" He held up a bottle of water.

"Toast!" Pietro cackled as he threw a slice of bread at Lance. Fred caught it and ate it. "Hey!" 

"No seriously," Lance waited until everyone had a bottle of water. "To the X-Geeks, without whom this victory would not have been possible, BECAUSE THEY LOST! WAHHHOOOOOO!" 

"Yeah!" They shouted, drinking from their water bottles. 

"Oh man did we kick butt or what!" Todd whooped. "Man I'd like to see those losers try to get back at us!"

"Yeah like any of those nerds would have the nerve to show their face around here!" Fred laughed.

Just then the doorbell rang. The entire group fell silent. "You don't think…?" Todd started to speak.

Pietro zipped to the window to check it out. He ran back. "You guys ain't gonna believe this, but two of the X-Geeks are on our doorstep!" 

"Which two?" Lance asked getting down from the coffee table.

"Kitty and one of the newer kids," Pietro told him. "I think it's the one that still goes to the middle school. Looks like he's twelve or something." 

"KITTY!" Lance yelped, nearly knocking Pietro down as he raced to the door. He opened it. "Kitty?"

"Lance?" Kitty looked at his face in surprise. 

"Hey were you guys playing a game or something?" Jamie asked.

"Huh?" Lance blinked. "Oh this," He pointed to his face. "Uh…yeah. We were playing a game. You know, pretend and stuff. So what's shaking Kitty? What are you doing here?"

"Well, we wanted to talk to you guys about something," Kitty said.

"We wanna invite you to dinner!" Jamie said excitedly. 

"What?" Lance blinked. 

"Can we come inside?" Kitty asked. 

"Uh sure! Sure come on in," He let them inside. Jamie's eyes widened with curiosity at the Brotherhood all dressed up. "You know everybody. Who's the squirt?"

"Jamie!" Tabitha squealed and gave him a big hug.

"Tabby!" Jamie yelped. Suddenly three more Jamies appeared out of nowhere.

"Whoa," Todd's eyes opened. "Now that is just plan freaky." 

"Oops," Tabitha put the original Jamie down. "Sorry. Forgot about that."

"It's okay," Jamie shrugged. "I missed you."

"Missed you too Bug-a boo," She tussled his hair. "Guys this is Jamie. Also known as Multiple, for obvious reasons. This is Fred-man, the Blob."

"Uh hi," Fred waved rather confused. 

"Pietro, whom we call Quicksilver," Tabitha continued the introductions. "And that's Todd, the Toad."

"Hey yo whazzup!" Todd got into his usual crouching position and gave one of the Jamies a high five. "Hey yo, finally somebody who's shorter than me around here!" 

"So what's all this about us breaking bread with you guys?" Pietro raised a skeptical eyebrow. 

"Well the Professor wants to talk to all of you," Kitty explained. "He wants to have a truce between you guys and the X-Men."

"Ah Ha!" Pietro sneered. "So you guys finally admit we're better than you!" 

"Pietro shut up and let Kitty talk," Lance snapped. "Go on Kitty, ignore him." 

"Look the Professor just doesn't want us to keep fighting any more," Kitty said. "It's so pointless you know. So he wanted us to hang with you guys for a bit and take you to dinner tonight to talk it out. Please Lance. For me."

"Oh no…" Pietro said. "There is no way…"

"Okay," Lance nodded. "We'll be there."

"Wait a minute!" Pietro snapped. "We gotta talk this over, come on family meeting! Upstairs!" He herded the others upstairs. He turned to Kitty and Jamie. "You and the kiddie brigade over there stay here! This is private!" 

They went into Lance's room. Pietro slammed the door behind him. "Okay have you lost your mind?" He snapped.

"What? What's the problem?" Lance asked.

"What's the problem?" Pietro looked at him as if he had morphed into Mystique. "The problem is that it's obviously a trap! That's it! It's a trap! As soon as we get there, BOOM! They're gonna do something to us! We're not going!"

"Come on they wouldn't do that," Lance said. "Hey I didn't say we were gonna do anything. Just go over and let them talk. That's all. Hey, we're bargaining from a position of strength. We got em good yesterday. Maybe they're finally taking us seriously."

"I dunno Rocky," Tabitha shook her head. "I just don't think it would be a good idea."

"You get to see Kurt," Lance said.

"Okay we'll go," Tabitha chirped.

"And there will be plenty of free food," Lance continued.

"I'm in!" Fred rubbed his hands together. 

"And umm…Pietro we'll let you um…negotiate or something," Lance shrugged. 

"I'm there!" Pietro brightened up. "Ha Ha! I always wanted to dictate terms to the X-Geeks!"

"Oh this is gonna be a disaster," Todd moaned. "Personally I don't trust those jerks as far as I can throw them, but okay, okay we'll go." 

"Great," Lance nodded. "Now everybody be nice to Kitty and the squirt okay? Pietro?" He glared at him.

"What?" Pietro blinked. "I can be nice when I want to be." 

"Yeah well the problem is you never want to be," Todd said.

"Watch it Froggy or I'll…" Pietro made a fist. 

"Calm down Pietro," Lance stepped between the two. "Let's just make nice with them at least for now. We'll just go over there, listen to their plan. If we don't like it we trash the mansion the next day. Got it?"

"Sounds fair," Todd shrugged. 

"As long as we eat I'm happy," Fred said. 

"Okay," Lance and the others joined Kitty and Jamie downstairs. "We'll do it. I can't promise anything, but we'll listen to what Xavier has to say." 

"Lance that's great!" Kitty smiled.

"Hey can I play your game with you?" Jamie asked. 

"Yeah sure kid," Pietro shrugged. "Come on upstairs so we can give these two lovebirds their privacy."

"Lance and Kitty sitting in a tree…" Todd giggled.

"K-I-S-S-I-N-G!" Jamie joined in their taunt as they raced upstairs to escape the wrath of Lance. 

"Um is he gonna be okay up there?" Kitty asked.

"Don't worry they won't do anything bad to him," Lance said. "Come on, we can talk in the kitchen…uh…maybe the living room would be better. It's cleaner." 

Kitty followed him, staring in shock at the living room. "THIS IS CLEANER?" There were surrounded by pizza boxes, soda cans and silly string everywhere. 

"Okay maybe the front hall…" Lance muttered.

Meanwhile upstairs Jamie was having a lot of fun. He was dancing with Tabitha in Pietro's room. Todd, Pietro and Fred were dancing too. Jamie didn't think these guys were so bad. In fact, they were really nice to him. 

"Hey Kid want some candy?" Pietro held up a clear bag full of pixie sticks.

"Hey that's from your private stash!" Todd yelped. "How come you never share with us yo?" 

"Because he's a guest," Pietro told him. "Go ahead kid, have all you want."

"Wow really!" Jamie's eyes widened. "Thanks! Hey you guys aren't so bad!"

"Of course we're not!" Pietro gulped one down. "It's just propaganda put out by the X-Men!"

"Propa-what?" Fred asked.

"Lies," Jamie explained. "Stuff people make up that's not really true."

"Oh," Fred said. "Thanks kid. Hey! I want some pixie sticks too!" He balked when he saw Pietro hand out some to Tabitha and Todd. 

"Here," Pietro tossed him one. "Hey kid, bet I can eat more pixie sticks than you can!"

"Can not!" Jamie pouted.

"Can too!" Pietro mocked.

"Can't!"

"Can!"

"Can't!" 

"Can!" 

"Prove it!" Jamie made a face.

"You're on!" Pietro threw down a whole pile of pixie sticks.

"Hey I want in on this," Todd hopped up and down. 

"Me too!" Tabitha grabbed a pixie stick. "And no Super Speed Pietro! Let's keep this fair!"

"Don't need it! Ready…" Pietro grabbed a stick of his own.

"Get set…" Jamie grabbed a stick.

"GO!" Todd grabbed a stick with his tongue and swallowed it.

"Aw man that is so gross!" Jamie said making a face. "Do it again!" 

"This is not good…" Fred felt a little nervous as he watched the four kids downing pixie sticks rapidly. 

Back in the hallway Kitty and Lance were talking. "So maybe this is the start of a new beginning," Kitty fidgeted with her hair. "I mean, if you guys make peace with us, we can all hang out together."

"Well, I can definitely see the advantages of that," Lance smiled. "I guess it wouldn't be so bad. Now that Magneto's gone. I mean it's not like he's coming back or anything. Since he's gone, it's okay that we can see each other."

"Yeah," Kitty looked down at the ground. 

"Hey what's wrong?" Lance looked at her concerned. "You look like something's wrong."

"No," She sighed. "I…Was just thinking back to when Magneto was around. You really didn't talk to me much."

"Well, remember Mystique was around too. I didn't dare…" He trailed off. "Look why are we talking about this? Magneto and Mystique are history. They're gone."

"Yeah," Kitty sighed. "So maybe we can do something this weekend."

"You mean that?" Lance's eyes brightened.

"Yeah if things go well," She nodded happily. 

"Kitty," Lance took her into his arms. "You don't know how happy that would make me." He leaned down to kiss her. Just then a loud whump came from upstairs, breaking the moment. 

"What is going on up there?" Kitty gasped. They ran to the upstairs where they saw Pietro cackling with glee as dozens of Jamie clones ran amok. 

"Lance you gotta do something!" Fred was trying to herd some of them into one room unsuccessfully. "Pietro gave Jamie and Toad and Tabby candy and he ate some and then they were dancing around and the next thing I knew this happened! Toad! You and those Jamies stop jumping on my bed!" He yelled inside the room. 

"But it's fun!" Todd whooped. 

"PIETRO!" Lance screamed.

"One little, two little, three little Jamies…" Pietro sang as he zipped along the halls, drawing with his group of clones. "Four little five little six little Jamies…"

"Yeah! Conga!" Tabitha led a conga line of Jamies through the halls. "One two three la Conga! One two three la Conga!" 

"KNOCK IT OFF!" Lance shouted, sending a tremor through the building. That was enough to stop everyone in their tracks. "Now, " He panted. "Everyone outside! Kitty, you better call home and tell them to send the van and some cattle prods!" 

Later that day, Scott was pacing back and forth in the mansion foyer. "This is not going to be good," He muttered to himself, dreading the events of the evening.

Suddenly a herd of Jamies ran into the mansion, happily screaming their lungs out. They nearly ran over Scott. "HEY!" He shouted. "Will you kids stop running around? Jamie…Uh…Jamies! Oh man, his powers are in overdrive!" 

"Wha-hooo!" Todd hopped alongside a few more Jamies as they ran upstairs. "Let's jump on the beds!"

"Jump on the beds! Jump on the beds!" The Jamies chanted. 

"WHAHOOO!" Pietro sped by him, spinning him around several times.

"What happened Alvers?" Scott snarled when he saw Lance walk in with Kitty. 

"Take it easy Summers," Lance waved as the others walked in with them. "The kids just had a little sugar rush that's all. No need to blow a gasket." 

"If this is some kind of trick…" Scott snarled.

"Hey I thought you guys wanted to talk peace with us," Lance snarled back. "If you're gonna start accusing us of stuff there's no reason for us to stay here!" 

"Lance no," Kitty restrained him. "Scott just chill okay? Lance didn't do anything. Pietro and the others just ate a lot of pixie sticks. And well…" A few more Jamie clones ran by. "Things kinda got out of hand. But they'll be gone soon so we just have to ride it out!" 

"Come on Kitty," Lance said. "Let's go calm the herd down before they cause any real damage." He sneered at Scott as they walked away. 

"Aspirin…" Logan moaned has he wobbled in the door. He looked pale and shaken.

"Logan what happened?" Scott asked.

"Have you ever driven a van with Toad and Multiple and Quicksilver and Boom Boom hyped up on sugar?" Logan moaned. "Don't! For the love of Mike don't! I gotta lie down for a while." 

"Scott we got a problem," Evan ran downstairs with a worried look. "Toad is leading an invasion of the Multiples into everyone's room!" 

"I am not going up there," Logan sat down. "I am not going up there! Give me a battle with Sabertooth any day! I am not going up there!" 

"I knew this was a mistake!" Scott snarled as they ran upstairs. Dozens of Jamies filled the hallway. "Oh man…"

"Stop drawing on the wall!" Jean stamped her foot. "Jamie…Jamies…knock it off! OW!" She yelped and hopped around as one Jamie stepped on her foot. 

"Get out of my room you little rugrats!" Rogue chased a few with a hairbrush out of her room. 

"Toad stop jumping on my bed!" Kurt shouted. 

"Quicksilver!" Evan snapped as Pietro ran all around him.

"Okay," Lance took a deep breath. "EVERYBODY KNOCK IT OFF OR I BRING THE HOUSE DOWN! RIGHT NOW!" 

Everyone stopped. "Multiple pull yourself together!" Lance ordered. "Toad, Pietro knock it off! We're not here to cause any trouble. And Tabitha I see you making an energy bomb back there. Don't even think about it!" 

"Party pooper," Tabitha grumbled stopping the process.

"Wow," Kitty looked at him awed. "That's really impressive!" 

"Hey," Lance shrugged. "You don't learn nothing living with these guys. You just gotta show them who's boss." 

Tabitha smirked and made a tiny energy bomb. She snuck it in Lance's pocket in the back. Boom! Lance's pants popped down. He grabbed onto them and made a face at Tabitha.

"Oh yeah," Scott drawled. "You've got everything under control."

"Shut up," Lance's face was slightly red. 

After a brief cleaning up session and a mild rebuke for Jamie on taking candy from strange people it was finally time for dinner. The Brotherhood was sitting at one end of the table while the X-Men were at the other end. "All right! Chow time!" Fred rubbed his hands together. 

"Man look at all the eats!" Todd's mouth was watering. He stuck his tongue out and grabbed a roll. The rest of the Brotherhood started shoving food in their mouths as fast as possible. The X-Men stared at them with their mouths open. 

Eventually they became aware that the X-Men were staring at them. Todd looked at them with a piece of food dangling from his mouth "What?" He asked with his mouth full. 

"Like don't you guys have any manners?" Kitty folded her arms.

"Uh…" Todd looked around. "No." 

"O-kay," Xavier gulped wondering if this was really such a good idea after all. "Now the reason we all called you here is to discuss a truce. Mutants shouldn't be divided. There's no reason we can't all get along."

"I can think of a few," Scott muttered underneath his breath. 

"Well," Pietro smiled. "As the official negotiator for the Brotherhood I am authorized to present our grievances and ideas for changes around here. Especially since we kicked your butts in a major way yesterday!" 

"Excuse me?" Jean raised an eyebrow.

"I just have a few modest demands," Pietro whipped out a huge scroll of paper. "Article one, No X-Man should by any means interfere with any Brotherhood Members fund raising activities."

"You mean you don't want us to stop you jerks from stealing!" Kurt huffed.

"Stealing is such an ugly word," Todd said. "I prefer an unorthodox distribution of wealth." 

"You can't expect us to stand idly by and let you steal stuff!" Jean folded her arms.

"Who said anything about standing by," Todd made a face. "You could help us out once in a while you know!"

"WHAT?" Jean went pale. 

"Yeah not everyone's got a guy with a huge wad of cash looking out for them!" Fred said.

"You can't steal period!" Scott said.

"How about a compromise," Pietro said. "An allowance or something?" 

"Um…" Xavier went pale.

"Forget it!" Scott snapped.

"Why not?" Lance snapped back. "Hey it's not like you guys don't break stuff too! How many times have you guys wrecked the Danger Room?"

"Too many," Hank moaned. His head was bandaged and so was his left hand. 

"Okay we'll get back to that one," Pietro read further. "Article 2: Snack Privileges. We'd like to be able to come in and eat every once in a while." 

"I suggested that one," Fred said.

"Oh for crying out loud," Logan put his head in his hands. "I told you this was a bad idea Chuck!" 

"Article 3," Pietro continued. "Exam answers to be provided from Jean."

"What?" She snapped. "I am not giving you answers!" 

"Hey it's not for us it's for the Brain Squad over here," Lance pointed to Fred and Todd. Todd was using his finger to clean out his ear again.

"Brain Squad?" Fred looked around. "Where?"

"Moving on to Article 5," Pietro continued. "Use of the pool…"

"Look just because you guys got lucky yesterday there's no need to let it go to your heads!" Ray snapped.

"Luck nothing!" Tabitha snapped. "We kicked your butts!"

"I think we're all getting a little off track here…" Xavier said. 

"Article 6: Co-ed Sleepovers," Pietro went on.

"I suggested that one," Lance piped up.

"La-ance," Kitty glared at him.

"Article 7," Pietro rolled along the huge sheet of paper. "The Annual Quicksilver Day…"

"That's it!" Evan produced some spikes. "I can't take any more!" 

"Hey!" Todd glared at him. "Have a roll!" He tossed a roll at Evan. It bonked Jean in the head.

"Hey!" Kitty snapped. "How can you hit Jean like that?"

"My aim was off," Todd shrugged. 

"Mine's not!" Jean used her telekinesis to throw the remaining rolls at Todd and the others.

"FOOD FIGHT!" Fred shouted throwing food at the X-Men.

"Cut it out Blob!" Jean shielded herself with her telekinesis but the food splattered on those surrounding her. "Oops."

"Nice going Jean," Rogue snapped. 

"Yeah thanks a lot!" Evan glared. 

"Professor there is no way these losers will ever be one of us!" Evan snapped.

"WHAT?" Pietro yelped. He looked at Lance. "I TOLD YOU SO!" 

"I knew it!" Todd spat. "It's a trick! They just wanted to convert us!" 

"I should have known it was too good to be true!" Fred snarled. "They were only pretending to be nice to us!" 

"What else can you expect from the Geek squad?" Tabitha formed an energy bomb and threw it in the mashed potatoes. Everyone ducked but could not escape being covered with the stuff. 

"I tried to be nice," Lance snarled. "I was willing to be a good guy and talk peace. But did you X-Geeks let me? NOOOOOOOOO! Well if that's the way you want it! Fine! Let's rock!" He grabbed a handful of food and started flinging it at the X-Men. Soon it developed into a full-blown food fight. Followed by an exchange of powers being used everywhere. 

"Oh dear," Hank hid underneath the table. "There goes another wall. This is gonna be expensive." 

"Forget the tanks Chuck!" Logan snapped. "What we need are nuclear warheads!" 

"Charles, if Magneto wants the Brotherhood back he can have them!" Ororo snapped. 

"I just wanted everybody to get along," Xavier moaned as the chaos continued into the night. "Is that asking so much? Why can't we all just get along? Why? Why? Why?" He hit his head repeatedly on the table. 


End file.
